What a long, strange trip it's been, so far. I've only been a mother for four and a half years, but I really can't imagine what life was like before these two little boys showed up and took over. It's got me thinking about time.
People keep telling me to cherish this time, that it will go so fast. And yet, to me it feels like forever. I don't necessarily mean that in a bad way, but it truly seems like this chapter has been stretching on and on. Maybe it's the weird sleep patterns that have set in (waking at the tiniest peep or cough, scheduling everything around naps, a late night ending at 10:30) or major priority shifts (how to fill daytime hours--playground or home, timing shopping so I don't need to pack snacks or diapers, cocktails at 5:30). Being at the beck and call of wee ones is exhausting and inspiring and hilarious all at once, but it definitely doesn't seem like time is passing quickly.
I'm guessing when they head off to school (#1 son in kindergarten this fall!), things will start to speed up. When I don't have to be there every second and start to reclaim my old, adult activities, time will pass more quickly. And, while it will be nice to talk to grown-ups again, I'm not really in a rush for the boys to leave me, either.
So, Childhood/Guruhood continues for these guys and I keep learning new ways to practice non-attachment. To my own hobbies, to cute baby behaviors, to free time, to a clean kitchen floor. I'm not dead yet, so I must be stronger...
I will miss Boynton books, definitely (...they rock and rock and rock to sleep)
1 comment:
Happy Mother's Day! Lovely post and pic. You sure have two gorgeous boys there. Motherhood is really good practice for us yoginis. Breathe in... breathe out... repeat. May all of your mommy moments be filled with qualities of samadhi so you can appreciate this moment as what it truly is, magical.
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